I never ask, why are you addicted?

I ask instead, why are you in pain?

Help! I'm trapped in an addiction that is harming me and I can’t get out...

Addiction is being trapped in behaviors that are harming us. It feels like we want two contradictory things at once, to get free from the addiction and never to get free from the addiction. This is the struggle of the addicted person. Our drug of choice, whatever it is, does something for us that we need and want, and it is hard to imagine who we would be without that relief.

I understand this. From the inside. That’s why I never ask, why are you addicted? I ask instead, why are you in pain? Because, behind and beneath addiction, there is always pain. I don’t tell you how to get free, I go with you on your journey through addiction and, maybe, a change in your relationship with your drug of choice that brings you greater freedom from self-harming behaviors.

Through it all, I respect your choices. I will support you in your sobriety and recovery if abstinence is your choice. I am deeply connected to the 12-Step model and the spirituality which informs it. I am also experienced in working from a harm reduction perspective and I will support you if you choose to modify your relationship to your drug of choice in ways that work for you.

But the focus is always on the pain - on healing the pain.

I also work with couples when addiction is negatively impacting the quality of their relationship.