Each of us comes to therapy for our own reasons. As a relational therapist, I will welcome and support you, focusing on what you want from therapy, whatever that is. I’ve noticed a pattern though, which I now think of as three ways to approach the work of psychotherapy as clients.

The first is therapy as problem solving, in which we want to address a specific problem or issue. The focus is on developing a solution that works for us. This form of therapy is usually shorter and requires less investment on our part.

A second way of doing therapy is as self-exploration in which we want to understand why we are the way we are. For example, we may realize that there are aspects of our inner lives, behaviors, or relationships which are troubling to us. We want to understand the cause(s) and how to change. Doing therapy as self-exploration requires more investment of our time, energy, and commitment because it involves a deeper exploration of our relational history and inner emotional landscape.

A third way of doing therapy is as a part of our deeper commitment to flourishing as a human being. This seems to arise for us when we realize that, though our lives are in many ways "successful", we sense there is something calling to us, some deeper understanding of who we are which has eluded us. This form of therapy requires the most investment of our time and energy because it involves our quest to be fully alive as our authentic self. This requires a willingness to know ourselves, both our light and our darkness, and to become intimate with our deepest fears and deepest desires.